“Who’s Your BFF?” by Daria (Mom In Management) – Guest Post for Friendships: Struggles, Humor, Triumphs and Angels Series

“Who’s Your BFF?” by Daria (Mom In Management) – Guest Post for Friendships: Struggles, Humor, Triumphs and Angels Series

by Daria (Mom In Management)

My 9 year old has about 5 BFF’s. How do I know? She comes home with notes either to them or from them signed Your BFF so and so. Clearly she doesn’t understand the concept of BEST. That pretty much narrows it down to your top friend. Doesn’t it?

But what a great time in your life when you have five people to choose from that all want to be your best friend and you get to spend 5 days a week with them and sometimes the weekends too. As an adult I certainly don’t have that same experience.

When we’re in school, our group of potential friends is huge. We interact daily with hundreds (sometimes thousands) of people with similar interests to us, within 3 years of our same age, and of our same generation. Of course, it’s easy to make ten or twenty friends. Look at the pool we have to choose from!

As an adult, it isn’t as easy. We don’t have hundreds of compatible people in our immediate vicinity with an excuse to engage them. We also don’t have tons of free time to spend developing those relationships, so our focus narrows. We tend to multi-task and make friends where it is convenient.

Think about it, don’t you have categories of friends? Your church friends, work friends, soccer mom friends? Have you noticed that they are grouped and described based upon how you met them and the “hat” you are wearing when you interact with them? Mom, employee, etc… Think about your college friends or your high school friends with whom you continue to remain close. My “new” friends feel different in certain ways – more emotionally distanced perhaps?

I’ve wondered about this and think part of it comes down to one of the first questions we ask when we meet someone new.

“What do you do?”

We didn’t ask this in high school or college. Everyone was on the same playing field. But now?  You are judged, characterized, and categorized by your response.

  • Lawyer or Plumber
  • Teacher or Accountant
  • Stay at Home Mom/Dad or VP of Business Development

What comes into your head when you read those? Maybe you think that you have a lot in common with some of those, or maybe you feel intimidated by an assumed income level or education higher than yours. Regardless of positive or negative, I think this question and our response affects our potential friendships. What do you think?

Daria is a working mom in Colorado balancing life between the boardroom and the classroom. Sometimes she’s a mom of 3, then her cell phone rings and she’s a boss or employee, then her hubs will need to know where his socks are and she switches gears and becomes a wife. She writes with a sense of humor about her life – including leadership tips and business trends, parenting, marriage and saving money.   She drinks wine (by the box) to maintain her sanity and keep to her budget, loves a good debate and encourages disagreement so she can play devil’s advocate.  She by no means, has all the answers, feeling that anyone that tells you they do is lying, but she does have some good tips and tricks from her years and breadth of experience that she’d like to share with you.  You can connect with her on Mom In Management, twitter and Facebook.


Well…what do you think?  Me? I think I got an A-HA moment out of this!

Gina @ Special Happens

By | 2011-01-20T09:03:08+00:00 January 20th, 2011|Categories: Friendships, Series|Tags: |7 Comments

About the Author:

Special Happens
Gina St. Aubin is a former Victim’s Advocate who now advocates for those with intellectual and physical challenges. Her eldest son is diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, Electrical Status Epilepticus during Sleep / Landau-Kleffner Syndrome (a rare epileptic disorder causing verbal aphasia) and Developmental Delays. In June, 2012, her son also underwent a successful hemispherectomy. Gina is the editor, author and owner of Special Happens, serves as a member of the Board of Directors for the SPD Foundation, and resides in Colorado where she is a mother of 3, wife, blogger, writer and special needs advocate.


  1. Jennifer @ Life with the Lebedas January 20, 2011 at 11:22 am - Reply

    Great post! I think it has a lot to do with your first interaction. If you don’t find that common ground of interest then you probably aren’t going to connect much if any after. I love the innocence of children. My daughter is 3 and every day she comes home from preschool she has a new best friend. We walk down the road and she sees a girl and even if it’s the first time, she’ll tell me thats her best friend. It’s really funny but shows so much about her loving heart!

    • Daria January 20, 2011 at 7:26 pm - Reply

      I love that too! They can just walk up to kids on a play ground and be friends. When do we lose that I wonder?

  2. Carrie January 20, 2011 at 11:51 am - Reply

    So true, but I must say that although I still have my very BFF, I have a BFF in almost every area of my life. Work BFF, Mom BFF, Family BFF. But my true BFF and I have lived in different states for 18 years now, and anytime we talk it’s like we’ve never been apart. People come and go in our lives, but the ones that stick with us are the true BFF’s!

    • Daria January 20, 2011 at 7:27 pm - Reply

      I totally agree. My BFF lives in Chicago. She was my college roommate and we don’t talk for months at a time and can still pick right back up. I really love that.

  3. Daria @ Mom in Management January 20, 2011 at 12:11 pm - Reply

    Thank you Gina for including me in this fabulous series!

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