The Beginning of a new Writing Series on Special Happens….
I am Michelle. I started blogging with Special Happens as a form of therapy for myself-discovering how to cope and raise a child on the autism spectrum. I believe in sharing stories, circumstances and how we handled them with each other-because we all have something to learn from each other. I also believe that no one is ever done learning. There is no “oops-I reached my information threshold so I can’t learn anything else”.
I blog to share my story. To share laughter… tears… sorrow… and healing. And right now, my story is a somber one. One that feels so dark and heavy right now. One that bring tears… and hopefully healing.
I think that parents of an SN child sometimes question the origins of the needs. Did it come from your side? Or mine? Who does the child resemble? Whose traits have they inherited?
After J’s SPD / ASD diagnosis, we brainstormed that it was due to Hub’s super-acute senses and my high-pain tolerance. An odd pairing in the gestational gene pool. That was our conclusion. Until a few weeks ago when Hubs admitted to me (right before we went to bed) that he “thinks I have that same thing J____ has”. Game changer, folks. Total game changer.
All has not been sunny and rosy since. Sure, we have a better understanding of Hub’s behaviors, but my perspective has been changed. Waves of tears wash over me from time to time, for I feel as if I am alone on this path. My idealistic dreams have been altered. Our course has changed. (Note: it also means that my understanding of Hubs and his reasons for doing things (and actions) has been wrong. Completely wrong. Certain behaviors make sense now). However, my love and commitment to Hubs has not changed. Armed with insight, we are now seeking a diagnosis.
The road ahead looks long, but filled with hope and promise as we discover reasons behind behaviors and more realizations come to light. Join me as we find answers. I am Michelle. And this is my journey.
(You can follow Michelle’s Series, Two Generations of Autism and other series… get it in your inbox here).