Last night I found myself writing a letter to J’s new special needs teacher unsure of my purpose. Careful with my words as to not put tension where there is none, or present as a parent who believes her child is perfect, nor as a parent that believes a teacher is flawed (as I do not). Letters like that are difficult to write. Words can be so misinterpreted.
Still, I needed to write this letter to her. To tell her that my son is not the child she’s experienced 4 “incidents” in the last 3.5 weeks with. I was compelled to tell her that J “is a soft hearted kiddo who recognizes the vulnerabilities of his peers and seeks to protect those peers. He shares, he’s kind and he’s deeply hurt when he realizes he hurts another, many times having it linger in his thoughts and letting me know later in the evening or even a few days later.”
I continued, “I just want you to know this about him. He’s a good kid. He’s adjusting.”
In truth, I’m not sure how this will be received, perceived. What I do know is that J has a new teacher and is testing the boundaries with her. Class rules likely changed with the staff, not to mention the transition period with the return to school.
…All of which does not excuse biting his teacher on the 3rd day of school. Nor hitting another teacher, nor swatting at the same ‘friend’ 3 times (without cause – other than seeking attention that is), and certainly not the unleashing of an episode of rage…the first his school has seen (they’ve seen meltdowns, but hadn’t seen rages). Mind you, the rage was uncontrollable, as reported by the teacher it was unleashed upon., still…it happened.
To say he’s having a hard time is almost a waste of words. Researching what’s going on within his brain in preparation for an upcoming procedure makes it a reality that he is going to have a hard time for a long time to come.
I just don’t want him to be labeled as a “safety concern” or a “behavior problem” when there’s so much in play…when there are so many circumstances…when that’s not who he is.
I’m hoping next week will be better.