An Open Letter to all who Support the Greater Good Concept,
I am labeled a fear monger. I am told I am misguided. I am told the government knows more about how to keep my child safe from illness than I do. I am told to trust in vaccines. I did. They destroyed my son’s life. I found myself in a world where deny the facts and truth live. I was told to put my then three year old child in a home for the mentally disabled and get on with my life. Children, who survive a vaccine injury I learned, are throw away children. This is why I became that fear mongering vaccine safety pushing Mom. I do not want this life for your child.
Today my now 19 year old had a very hard, long lasting, massive seizure. We were in the middle of Christmas traffic, caught waiting for a green light. My son’s left arm came up and slapped me in the face so hard my glasses went flying just as the light turned green. I knew from the gurgling sound what was wrong. There was no need to look over at him, only the gut reaction to reach for him before he crashed into the dash board.
I somehow managed to make eye contact with the driver blocking me from making a left hand turn and she kindly cleared the intersection. John was drawn in a tight wad, each muscle pulling and twisting his body into contortions Cirque du Soleil acrobats could not do. I managed to steer the car with my knees, shift with my left hand, and get into a shopping center parking lot while holding John with my right hand.
I sat in a parking lot holding my son’s head upright and making sure his now blue lips turned red again. Happy holiday shoppers and restaurant going families walked past our car, their laughter and happy conversations could not drown out the sounds of John struggling to breathe. I was numb listening to their up beat happy mood while praying my son would not die mid seizure.
I was two hours from home. I had promised John a day in the city to go to his favorite stores, and now we were leaving before we ever got to open the car door once. Two long hours I drove slowly taking back roads to keep an eye on my sweet son. At home I carried him, all 140 pounds of grown man, into the house and put him on the couch. I took off his shoes, covered him with a blanket and watched him sleep. When he woke up six hours later, I knew he had regressed.
Dazed and confused, he did not understand the words I spoke to him. He did not understand he had to go to the restroom, and his jeans grew wet before my eyes. He could not remember how to suck a straw. I held a glass to his lips to help him drink. I fed him bits of pasta and vegetables off a spoon. He did not understand to chew and swallowed the food whole. I ended up grinding the food into baby food to make it safe for him to eat.
I sighed. My son had regressed years in a single seizure. Just twenty four hours ago he was on top of the world, his fine motor skills on fire with success. He was doing things like opening a desk drawer and taking out batteries for me to fix his Furby for him. He was making a sound, nothing you would recognize, but a sound. For John any sound is a miracle. He lost his speech when he was two. Last night he lay in his bed trying to make vowel sounds. Now, there is only the familiar silence.
I would not wish this on your child. I would not wish this on your family. I would not want to see another child suffer regression after vaccines or loss of all functional skills. I would not want your child to loose days and fun scheduled events, to a life changing seizure. When I take a stand, when I speak up, or post information, it is not because I am ignorant, misguided and listening to some nut job Play Boy bunny, but because I am knowledgeable. First hand knowledge of what happens when the one size fits all vaccine plan goes wrong and your child suffers brain damage.
Please, don’t just count me off as a nut, learn from me, and make an informed choice you can live with.
John thanks you. He would not want this life for your child either.