“Don’t try to get him in trouble. He has a hard enough life without you trying to get him into trouble!” I found myself firmly pointing this out to O this weekend.
Friday afternoon, I responded to the calls for my attention to the backyard rock pit, wherein I received bad information about what was happening outside.
“J hit B in the head with a stick!” O announced.
I asked J; he responded no. I asked B, to which O emphatically interrupted B, starring him down in a silent plea for his agreement, and announced that YES, he did hit him with a stick. B, my most consistent “truth teller” replied, “Noooo…J hit me with a ball and I said OUWWWW” then demonstrating the best stuntman fall he could. He obviously wasn’t worried about it.
Horrified at the “truth” being told, O said, “…but J hit me with a stick!” Thus my statement to her (above).
Now, O loves her brother, for that I have no doubt. In fact, she adores him and willingly is lavished in his kisses even when she may prefer it to stop. In turn, she also dislikes his continued ‘mauling’ and of course his sometimes violent outbursts. She’s pretty even with him and B both…they all are even with each other.
But as this statement left my mouth, and I was confident that I was stating fact, proud of my “mothering moment”, I also became proud of her; proud of all my children. For this 2 minute or less exchange showed me that for all the indicators of J’s “specialness”, for all the information O has about him, all the answers that have been given to her questions, for her completeness in understanding, acceptance and appreciation of her brother, she still treats him just as any sibling might treat the other….with a fine balance of love and annoyance, sibling rivalry and sibling bond.
I’m proud of her because she still sees him as J…not as (only) “special”.