No Really…He's A Good Kid

He's an angel...kindaLast night I found myself writing a letter to J’s new special needs teacher unsure of my purpose. Careful with my words as to not put tension where there is none, or present as a parent who believes her child is perfect, nor as a parent that believes a teacher is flawed (as I do not). Letters like that are difficult to write. Words can be so misinterpreted.

Still, I needed to write this letter to her. To tell her that my son is not the child she’s experienced 4 “incidents” in the last 3.5 weeks with. I was compelled to tell her that J “is a soft hearted kiddo who recognizes the vulnerabilities of his peers and seeks to protect those peers.  He shares, he’s kind and he’s deeply hurt when he realizes he hurts another, many times having it linger in his thoughts and letting me know later in the evening or even a few days later.

I continued, “I just want you to know this about him.  He’s a good kid.  He’s adjusting.

In truth, I’m not sure how this will be received, perceived. What I do know is that J has a new teacher and is testing the boundaries with her. Class rules likely changed with the staff, not to mention the transition period with the return to school.

…All of which does not excuse biting his teacher on the 3rd day of school. Nor hitting another teacher, nor swatting at the same ‘friend’ 3 times (without cause – other than seeking attention that is), and certainly not the unleashing of an episode of rage…the first his school has seen (they’ve seen meltdowns, but hadn’t seen rages). Mind you, the rage was uncontrollable, as reported by the teacher it was unleashed upon., still…it happened.

To say he’s having a hard time is almost a waste of words. Researching what’s going on within his brain in preparation for an upcoming procedure makes it a reality that he is going to have a hard time for a long time to come.

I just don’t want him to be labeled as a “safety concern” or a “behavior problem” when there’s so much in play…when there are so many circumstances…when that’s not who he is.

I’m hoping next week will be better.

Gina @ Special Happens

Gina St. Aubin
Gina St. Aubin is a former Victim’s Advocate who now advocates for those with intellectual and physical challenges. Her eldest son is diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, Electrical Status Epilepticus during Sleep / Landau-Kleffner Syndrome (a rare epileptic disorder causing verbal aphasia) and Developmental Delays. In June, 2012, her son also underwent a successful hemispherectomy. Gina is the editor, author and owner of Special Happens, serves as a member of the Board of Directors for the SPD Foundation, and resides in Colorado where she is a mother of 3, wife, blogger, writer and special needs advocate. You can reach Gina through various Special Happens connections on Facebook and Twitter, or email her directly.
Gina St. Aubin
Gina St. Aubin

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  1. A dear friend of mine creates and “all about me” book for her daughter every year she has new teachers (one copy for each teacher). She starts out with a lovely, recent photo on the front and then lists out all her strengths, her challenges, successful ways various situations have been handled in the past, goals and contact information for both her and her husband.

    May be something you can do for your son?

  2. *heavy sigh*
    Gina, I am so very sorry you and J are having such a rough week. I know how your mommy heart must break after each “incident”, how it breaks for the teacher, your son, and yourself. I imagine you’re exhausted physically, emotionally, and mentally. I imagine, “I’m sorry” doesn’t even touch the hurt.

    Nothing will touch it. Just remember there are mommies and daddies out there who understand, even if the teacher doesn’t. And we send you hugs and strength and prayers.

    • Thank you Jenny. I actually spoke to the other parents today. She didn’t believe there was any issue, and knows our boys enjoy each other very much. I’m thinking the issue surrounds…other things… as I’m finding out more. Sometimes, well meaning people try too hard.