My 9 year old has about 5 BFF’s. How do I know? She comes home with notes either to them or from them signed Your BFF so and so. Clearly she doesn’t understand the concept of BEST. That pretty much narrows it down to your top friend. Doesn’t it?
But what a great time in your life when you have five people to choose from that all want to be your best friend and you get to spend 5 days a week with them and sometimes the weekends too. As an adult I certainly don’t have that same experience.
When we’re in school, our group of potential friends is huge. We interact daily with hundreds (sometimes thousands) of people with similar interests to us, within 3 years of our same age, and of our same generation. Of course, it’s easy to make ten or twenty friends. Look at the pool we have to choose from!
As an adult, it isn’t as easy. We don’t have hundreds of compatible people in our immediate vicinity with an excuse to engage them. We also don’t have tons of free time to spend developing those relationships, so our focus narrows. We tend to multi-task and make friends where it is convenient.
Think about it, don’t you have categories of friends? Your church friends, work friends, soccer mom friends? Have you noticed that they are grouped and described based upon how you met them and the “hat” you are wearing when you interact with them? Mom, employee, etc… Think about your college friends or your high school friends with whom you continue to remain close. My “new” friends feel different in certain ways – more emotionally distanced perhaps?
I’ve wondered about this and think part of it comes down to one of the first questions we ask when we meet someone new.
“What do you do?”
We didn’t ask this in high school or college. Everyone was on the same playing field. But now? You are judged, characterized, and categorized by your response.
- Lawyer or Plumber
- Teacher or Accountant
- Stay at Home Mom/Dad or VP of Business Development
What comes into your head when you read those? Maybe you think that you have a lot in common with some of those, or maybe you feel intimidated by an assumed income level or education higher than yours. Regardless of positive or negative, I think this question and our response affects our potential friendships. What do you think?
Daria is a working mom in Colorado balancing life between the boardroom and the classroom. Sometimes she’s a mom of 3, then her cell phone rings and she’s a boss or employee, then her hubs will need to know where his socks are and she switches gears and becomes a wife. She writes with a sense of humor about her life – including leadership tips and business trends, parenting, marriage and saving money. She drinks wine (by the box) to maintain her sanity and keep to her budget, loves a good debate and encourages disagreement so she can play devil’s advocate. She by no means, has all the answers, feeling that anyone that tells you they do is lying, but she does have some good tips and tricks from her years and breadth of experience that she’d like to share with you. You can connect with her on Mom In Management, twitter and Facebook.
Well…what do you think? Me? I think I got an A-HA moment out of this!