Starting the 2011 Friendships Series, I knew I’d be doing some introspection, a quick or long look around at what and who I’m surrounded by; how I got here, if I’m comfortable with it all.
…Friends that’ll dig a grave. Big Daddy Autism’s post, the first of the 2011 Friendship Series got me thinking. Who would do that for me? With me? Without question? In truth, I’d have to agree that The Hubs would. Jokes would fly my way, questions, scenarios, all while digging and cursing me for having to dig, C would support me. I him. That’s the connection we have forged. But what about outside of him?
At present, none. I can’t think of a single person who would willingly, without question or recourse dig this fictional grave. And is this okay? Because, I’m not digging graves at the present. I am living my life, surviving and living, researching and learning, stumbling and falling; and so what I need now is to be surrounded with someone who might help pick me up and in turn remind me that I’m only human. So here I am….what about those, the pick me ups?
I have a couple of those. A few, closer than most friends who share my struggles in whatever detail I’m willing to relive or they’re willing to take on. I have a few, in real life, friendships with other parents of children with special needs, whose needs differ from our families, but still remind me that needs abound. Even more, in real life, whose families don’t have the exaggerated needs a special child can bring, who still find room in their hearts to accept what makes our life different, interest and concern for what J and our family experiences, and yet are grounded enough to share their lives, as all our lives have challenges.
These people might not dig graves, but they will dirty their hands to help me dig out of mine. They’re constant, consistent. Forgiving of what could be perceived as flakiness, strong in their forging of our friendships. But these people, save for family, save for acquaintances are only a few. Contrary to who I once believed myself to be, I’m okay with being surrounded by a few. A few more than most. A few I will hang on to. For as long as they can hang on to me.
What about you?